Story:  2 people seated next to each other on a commercial jet discover who is really sure about flying...
Cast: 2 adults and voice offstage
props: 2 chairs, magazine, purse & briefcase
Skit begins with #1 seated window....
(#1 pretends to go thru the magazine pouch and pulls out a magazine, which was on the floor, and begins to look at it...)
voice of pilot: Welcome to Delta Airlines...my name is Capt. Bob Hunt, and I will be your pilot for this flight...please notice that the fasten seat belts sign is lit, and you should have your seat belt fastened...We will be pushing off from the jetway momentarily...
(#2 enters from offstage, looking at seats and at boarding pass)17 C, 17 C, (leans over to speak to an imaginary passenger) are you in my seat...no, this isn’t 17C (arrives at chair)...great, I told them I wanted a row to myself so I could spread out my work...(pretends to look in over head compartment)...I guess this will have to do (drops down into seat heavily, muttering to herself)
(#1 lowers magazine and watches #2...#1 looks pleasant, but not overly)
(#2 starts rummaging thru her stuff)
#1: Ah, I’m not trying to be pushy, but I think you should fasten your seat belt...(points to her own seat belt)
#2 (distractedly, looks over at her row mate briefly, sizing her up) What? oh, yeah (pretends to buckle up, talking to #1) I forget about these seat belts everytime when I fly coach...(looks at #1) the seats are wider in 1st class, and the belts are much easier to find...I hate it when the company gives me coach tickets (picks up her brief case) You’d think after all I’ve done for the company, they’d fly me first class.
sound of jet engine (15 seconds don’t play very loud - play as it would sound in the cabin)
#1  we’re taking off....(puts down her magazine, sticks out her hand to #2) I’m Barbara. I didn’t get your name...
#2  (shakes #1’s hand) Oh, hi. I’m Nancy...Nancy Borders. I think it is important to remember people’s names...people think you really are interested in them when you refer to them by name...(looks at #1 and chuckles) oh, I don’t mean now, but just in business...
#1 (nodding) I see.
#2 It’s the truth, Brenda. ...
#1 It’s Barbara
#2 What?
#1 My name, it’s Barbara
#2 Oh, right...Barbara...you know people really are predictable...I’ve found that if I spend 5minutes with someone, I know everything I need to know about them...
#1 Oh, really, like what?
#2 Like their interests, their strengths and weaknesses, their potential for business, things that can really benefit me as I relate to them.
#1 All that in 5 minutes?
#2 That’s right. That’s how I got to be VP in my company at 30 years of age. I can figure out people fast...(puts down her brief case and gets her purse) I’ve got my life figured out...by the time I’m 40, I’ll be president and CEO and at 50, I’ll retire with major holdings in the company...
#1 To me, it sounds like you’re pretty sure of yourself
(#2 opens purse and gets her mirror and looks at herself as #1 speaks)
#2 (speaks as she continues looking at herself) Well, I’ve earned it...I did it on my own...so I’m going to get what’s mine...
voice of pilot: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. We’ve just developed a problem with one of the engines. We will have to shut it down until we can determine the problem. I have radioed the tower, and for safety’s sake, we will be returning to Norfolk International, and try to fix the problem on the ground. We have 2 other fully functioning engines and there is no reason to become alarmed. Your stewardess will be available to assist you.”
(as the pilot speaks, #2 grows visibly upset and shaken. She looks around frightened and clutches her brief case to her chest, #1 appears remarkably calm)
#2: (leans over to #1 and says with a tight voice) Can you see the bad engine on your side?
#1 (looks out the window) I can see an engine, but I can’t tell anything about it...(looks at #2) Nancy, are you okay?
#2 (really shaken, looking very scared) What? Me? Okay? (sharply) Sure, I’m okay...why wouldn’t I be okay? Why, do I look like I’m not okay? (looks away, frightened)
#1 Well, to tell the truth, you do look kinda shook up.
#2 Well, I’m not...(looks directly at #1, speaks sheepishly) Are you okay?
#1 Yeah...but I am concerned about the engine..
#2: Do you think it’s going to explode? Like that engine on the airplane years ago? You know they found a big piece of it in a field, because it fell off the plane...oh, Brenda, what if we don’t make it back...what if we crash...Oh, God, what am I going to do???
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m happy to inform you that the engine malfunction never happened, it was a bad indicator light. We have been cleared to proceed to our destination. I apologize for any discomfort this has caused.
(both women sit quietly for a moment, #1 picks up her magazine and returns to reading; #2 slowly puts down her brief case, looking around to see if she has been watched, and lets out a big sigh.)
#2: (still looking straight ahead) Well, that was interesting...reminds me of the stories I used to hear about the Piedmont Airline...they said you should never fly one toward the coast because they might overshoot! (Smiles at herself as she regains her composure, still looking straight ahead) I’m gonna complain to the airline about this; I think I should get a refund...maybe I’ll just sue - that’s it. I know a couple of sharp lawyers that would really chew up this airline...Hey, I’m gonna tell the CEO that he has to start chartering a private jet for these trips...I shouldn’t have to put up with this...
(#1 looks at #2 while she is on her tirade, looks back at the audience, rolls her eyes and shakes her head and returns to reading her magazine)