Cast & props: Peter, in costume, interviewer, narrator (off stage); Peter’s persona is like John Madden;
two stools; MM presentation
(Turn computer audio on; run intro MM for “Eyewitness News” [click on CW logo; slide #1 and
#2 run automatically]; begin live narration when logo is complete ...as narration begins, fade
audio to half;

Narrator (live): Good morning; welcome to Eyewitness news. We’re once again bringing you the latest
developments surrounding the amazing story of Jesus of Nazareth, a carpenter-turned-rabbi that has
polarized and electrified the people of this small, middle-eastern country. (fade out audio now... when audio is gone, advance to slide #3 - it looks just like #2, and you won’t see any change) Today, we are bringing you an interview with another of the key associates of Jesus of Nazareth, Simon Peter. Peter, Jesus’ main spokesperson, was one of the inner circle of 12 that worked closely with Jesus. Are we ready?...Yes, okay, we can go to that interview now...

Interviewer: (seated on stage) Today, we have the unique opportunity to speak to the man that was closer than anyone else to Jesus of Nazareth. Peter, also known as Cephas...(yelling begins offstage)

Peter: (from behind curtain yelling) ...I don’t CARE where the cord is SUPPOSED TO GO, I’m NOT putting it through my CLOTHES...You wear it, if you want to - I’m using the HAND MIC!...Yes, go tell your producer I’m using the hand mic...if he doesn’t LIKE IT, he can COME SEE ME!

Narrator: We are experiencing some technical difficulties with the interview...(pause as if listening to mic in ear)...yes?...okay, I’m told that we are now ready for the interview...

Interviewer: Welcome back to our special interview of Peter, a close associate of Jesus of Nazareth...(stands to greet Peter)

(Peter enters, looking back disgustedly at someone behind the curtain as he walks to stool, carrying mic)

Interviewer: Welcome to Eyewitness News, Mr....ah (extends hand)

Peter: (shakes hand, sits on stool) You know, you’d THINK people would get the idea that there’s NO WAY to run a wire thru THIS (pulls at clothes as if to show the interviewer and audience)...I mean, you try to snap that little receiver on this (pull at waist), and BAM! it’ll be ALL OVER THE FLOOR IN A MILLION PIECES!...anyway, thanks, I’m glad to be here!

Interviewer: Yes, I am too...er, I’m glad you are here with us today...You were a close associate of Jesus; in fact, you were his most trusted advisor...

Peter: Advisor? Oh, no way! That’s one thing that Jesus never needed...You see, he had an answer for everything! I mean, you should have heard him with the Pharisees...Ha, Ha,...(advance to football slide) here he is, BANG, getting in there for the sack! (advance slide)...see how let’em know who he is and why he’s there?! (advance slide) then, he gets that solid, “I got you again” grip on ‘em...look at the expression on that Pharisee’s face! That says it all! (advance slide)...The Pharisees thought they had a clean shot at the people, but Jesus broke up the play! BAM, BANG!! You talkin’ about pumped up on the line!! You aughta see what he can do when he gets the ball in his hands!!! (advance slide - should be Eyewitness logo)

Interviewer: Okay, I can see how he didn’t need any advice...but how did you happen to meet Jesus?

Peter: Well, before I met Jesus, I ran a boat out of Capernaum with my brother, Andrew. We pull a lot of nets together....

Interviewer: You were a fisherman?

Peter: Oh, yeah...we had a pretty good business going, until Jesus came along.

Interviewer: Did Jesus hurt your business?

Peter: Who, Jesus? No way! In fact, we had the best haul of our lives the day Andrew invited Jesus to the dock. Oh, I thought he was just another one of Andrew’s religious fanatics, until he got on the boat...

Interviewer: One of our cameramen was able to catch this exchange between you and Jesus that day. We have some file footage we want to show our viewers, if we can run it now... (run video clip, then switch back to computer, and eyewitness logo)

Interviewer: So, you took him out for a ride?

Peter: A ride? Nobody just rides on my boat! Either you work, or you’re overboard...and Jesus just sat there, looking at the water. I was thnking about throwing that lazy piece of worthless human  flesh overboard, until he said “Throw your nets over”. I said, “that’s it”, and went for him, when Andrew said “try him out before puttin’ him over the side”...so, I did...It was crazy, but I figured, he’s going over anyhow, so why not get Andrew off my back? We put the nets in and BAM!! we hauled in so many fish that the nets were breaking...I’d never seen so many fish in all my life! So, I decided to let him stay dry a while longer...

Interviewer: Is that when you started following him?

Peter: Not me...I’m not one of those “religious types” that runs after every evangelist that comes into town! Don’t get me wrong, I believed in God as much as the next guy, but I figured God helped those that helped themselves, so I did my part to take care of my family and my own business...But, I soon realized that I was thinkin’ wrong...

Interviewer: What do you mean?

Peter: I found out that Jesus was the real deal...he wasn’t in this for himself, and he really knew what made people do what they do...like me...he was able to cut through all the stuff I normally put out and I can put out some stuff...He made me set up and listen....nobody had ever done that before. So, when he said “Follow me” I didn’t have anything to say but okay...

Interviewer: Here at Eyewitness News, we understand that you claim to have walked on water...can you explain how you did this?

Peter: Explain it? I can’t hardly believe it myself!! I mean, here we were, in a boat, in the middle of the Sea of Galilee at night, no light, rowing for all we were worth against a headwind. Then, out of nowhere, BAM!, a storm blows up! Waves and wind, rocking and rolling, man I thought I was going to hear the 2 minute warning!! Then John, or somebody, yells “I see a ghost”...I said, “If you don’t shut up and keep rowing, we’re all gonna be ghosts!! Then I saw it - a person walking across the water!!

Interviewer: You actually saw a person walking on the water? Are you sure it wasn’t a mirage or a hallucination?

Peter: If it was a hallucination, how did all of us have the same one? It was Jesus alright, just strolling along, flattening the waves as he went! I couldn’t take my eyes off him! I mean, what would you do if you saw someone walking on water?

Interviewer: Probably the same thing!...What happened next?

Peter: I couldn’t take it anymore, so I jumped up and said something intelligent like “If it’s you, Lord, tell me to come to you on the water”...I knew he wouldn’t, so I figured I’d get some brownie points for at least sounding brave...Then he said, “Come on down” BAM!!! BANG!!! Jesus called my bluff! He read my defense like he had my play book!!

Interviewer: So, what did you do?

Peter: What’d I do?!! The only thing I could do...I hit the side of that boat like it was first and goal - BAM!! over the side I went! And BANG! my feet hit solid water! Man, it was great! I drove right up the center to Jesus!!
 
Interviewer: Amazing!

Peter: Well, it wasn’t time to hit the locker room yet...I saw the waves coming, and man they looked like 4-minute mile, 600 lb linebackers on a quarterback blitz after the snap! And I started sinking...I yelled for Jesus - “help me, Lord!” ...BAM!! there was his hand pulling me out of the pile-up.

Interviewer: I guess you felt a little sheepish after it was over...

Peter: Me? No way!!! Look, I was the only one with enough guts to get out of the boat to start with!

Interviewer: Well, Peter, our time has almost run out...do you have anything you want to share with the viewers?

Peter: Yeah, one thing...when your life is at 4th and long, and you are down 4 points, put Jesus in as quarterback - he’ll convert your life into a touchdown...

Interviewer: Thank you, Peter for sharing with Eyewitness News about your experiences with the remarkable Jesus of Nazareth...

Narrator (live): The continuing story of the man from Galilee, Jesus of Nazareth, is unfolding before us all, and Eyewitness News will be there to bring to you the whole story. (be sure audio is ON BEFORE advancing slide - advance MM to slide #4; fanfare plays automatically! - leave volume at half) Join us next week, as we have an interview with none other than Jesus himself. Until then, this is Eyewitness news...

Allow visual to complete, then fade out fanfare...